Teen Dating Violence Happens

But you can stop it.

What is Teen Dating Violence?

It is what happens in a teen dating relationship when one person uses physical or emotional or sexual abuse to gain power and keep control over the other person.

What do we know about teen dating violence?

• Studies show that at least one in ten teens will be in an abusive relationship.
• In abusive relationships between boyfriends and girlfriends, 95% of the time it's a boyfriend abusing a girlfriend.
• It's not easy to leave an abusive relationship at any age. It's even harder for teens to leave abusive relationships because of fewer resources and uninformed adults who think it's "just two kids fighting."
• Abuse happens in all different kinds of relationships, including same sex/same gender relationships.
• Teen dating violence can happen to anyone no matter what his or her race or where they live.
• Police, counselors and schools can be messed up about racism or sexual orientation and sometimes don't provide the same support to all kids and young adults.

If you are being abused you do have choices . . .

• You can call your local crisis line to get help and information.
• You can attend a domestic violence support group (they're usually free).
• You can go to a domestic violence shelter in some situations.
• You can tell your friends so they can look out for you or walk with you in groups (the more people you know, the safer you are).
• You can talk to a teacher, counselor or some other adult who may help you.
• You can take a self-defense course.
• You can take legal action. There are restraining orders you can get to keep the abuser away from you. You can also get child custody on the restraining orders.

How can I tell if I'm in an abusive teen dating relationship?

• Are you afraid of the person you're going out with?
• Do they call you names; make you feel stupid, or tell you that you can't do anything right?
• Do they say that no one else would ever go out with you?
• Does the person you're involved with tell you where you can and can't go or who you can and can't talk to?
• Do you feel cut off from your friends and family?
• Do you feel if you say no to sexual activities that you will get in trouble? Do you feel pushed or forced into being sexual?
• Does the person say it's your fault when they hurt you?
• Does this person shove, grab, hit, pinch, hold you down or kick you?
• Is the person you're seeing really nice sometimes and really mean at other time (almost like they have two personalities)?
• Does this person make frequent promises to change? Do they pretend that they never hurt you? Or do they tell you that you are "making too big a deal" out of it?

If the answer to any of these questions is "yes," your partner is being abusive towards you. You may want to look at your relationship more closely and find out more about teen dating violence.

Does your school or community group need more information about teen dating violence?

We provide specialized presentations on teen dating violence and date rape for young people FREE of charge to your school or community group. We also have posters and brochures available on teen dating violence: Catalog Page/Materials.

Call (503) 232-7805 for more information or to request a presentation.